10 things that kept me from absolutely losing it in 2024

cute!

We’re getting right to it. The rules:

• For movies, books, music, or TV, it had to be released this year

• For everything else, it had to be something I acquired or became aware of this year

• No categories—we are making soup

Frog mat

This year, I learned that I actually don’t have to have perpetual bruises on my elbows and knees. I had always just sucked it up and thought it was part of that #pilateslife. Accordingly, I have used the same mat since 2015.

Then I saw this face:

faux suede, real friend

And it was enough to make me question it all. This thing is THICK—and it was like, maybe I do deserve a pain-free workout. Maybe I could put my hands on his velvety eyes for oil riggers or downward dog.

Reader, it was one hundred dollars (it’s on sale for 80 now though lol). I’m not proud, but my elbows look fantastic.

She Who Eats Tourists by Atalaya Magdalena

One of my favorite poetry books of the year and probably the one I come back to the most.

She Who Eats Tourists is part art project, part family history, part scathing incantation against the colonial gaze in all its forms, and also really fucking funny. It covers a lot of ground but distills it all into a succession of perfect punches.

Cookie

I think this was sold as a “fidget slider,” but I resent the term “fidget” to describe an object that is fun to hold and play with. That’s just a toy, baby. That’s just life. I’m not fidgeting, I’m having a good time.

Tiny Dorothy not included, just thought she looked nice

Anyway, this has been a boon, especially during work. As a perpetual object-holder, I enjoy having something sturdy I can really put through the wringer. I can click and clack this cookie in a way that would destroy, say, an artisanal polymer clay pony. This thing, modeled after party ring cookies, makes such a pleasant sound but can also be very quiet. You can do a lot of sick moves with it.

The creator, Nakozen3D, appears to have unlisted this particular cookie, but it’s like his most popular item so maybe he’ll restock.

The Year I Turned 21 by Ayra Starr

I (31) feel kind of weird being struck so strongly by an album that’s apparently about being 21. I also felt weird being struck so strongly by her first album, 19 & Dangerous, which is about being 19 and dangerous.

Whatever! This album fucking rules. It feels like the successor to Rihanna’s ANTI in many ways. So did 19 & Dangerous, but this one’s less persona and more ~~personal growth~~. I think these first two albums combined average out to one New ANTI in a way I wasn’t sure anything ever would.

It mixes really specific lyrics and rhythmic fixations with a lot of sweeping, sometimes anthemic instrumentation. The result is no skips. “Jazzy’s Song” is a highlight, though:

Ibuprofen cloche

A late contender—this was a Christmas gift, and it’s already revolutionized my routine.

I’m very often ‘profed up but find the pills and their bottle hideous and texturally lacking. I now decant my ibuprofen into this lovely object that chimes every time I lift the lid. And it looks dashing on my nightstand.

Glorious Bodies by Colby Gordon

I don’t read a lot of nonfiction. When I do, I prefer it niche, painstaking in its citations, and queer. Glorious Bodies is a collection of essays about Renaissance theology, literature, and transness. It goes way beyond “was the Mona Lisa drag?!?!?!? discuss” or “APAT (all priests are trans)!” and into something much more interesting.

From the publisher:

Colby Gordon challenges the prevailing assumption that trans life is a byproduct of recent medical innovation by locating a cultural imaginary of transition in the religious writing of the English Renaissance. […] Pairing literary texts by Shakespeare, Webster, Donne, and Milton with a broad range of primary sources, Gordon examines the religious tropes available to early modern subjects for imagining how gender could change. From George Herbert’s invaginated Jesus and Milton’s gestational Adam to the ungendered “glorious body” of the resurrection, early modern theology offers a rich conceptual reservoir of trans imagery.

This goes hard, footnotes included. The John Donne essay was my favorite, because I cosplayed as that little freak multiple times in high school. I’ve also never read any scholarship that doesn’t water things down for immediate cis understanding. It was cool, and I want more.

M&M’s promotional emails

I ended up on the M&M’s¹ email list after having the time of my life at the M&M’s Store in Las Vegas. It is the only email list I will never unsubscribe from.

Getting emails for M&M’s is like getting emails for rectangles, or the sidewalk. Like, it’s M&M’s. We know about them and where to find them. I think this is what keeps me coming back.

I want to see what on earth there is new to say about M&M’s, how these people are creating seasonality in the most season-less food I can think of. These emails are marketing in its purest form (“want some M&M’s?”). I find in them a certain quotidian delight.

The bagels in Korea that I thought were gluten free

Until maybe 5 years ago, if you asked a food provider in Korea if something was gluten free, they’d usually be like “wtf.” OR they’d be like “hell no this is supes gluted,” but really be referring to glutinous rice flour, which is gluten free. Huge faff all around.

So, over the years, I’ve tended to ask whether something contains wheat flour or soy sauce to cover most of my bases. That’s what I asked the kind owner of Feel Free Bakery, a “rice bagel shop” in the quiet part of Hongdae. She was like, nope, 100% rice flour! I was like, fuck yes. I ate these bagels almost every day I was in Seoul.

It wasn’t until I was scrolling Feel Free’s Instagram later that I learned the owner MANUALLY INJECTS GLUTEN INTO THE RICE FLOUR. So yes, 100% rice flour, but bafflingly not gluten free.

But!! It’s only like 5% of the gluten you’d get in a normal bagel! Which explains why I mostly felt fine eating these. Knowing that I could accidentally eat gluten and not feel like total shit was kind of freeing.² They were also the best bagels of my life, and thinking about them brings me comfort.

Asiago bagel on left, pretzel bagel on right

Challengers

How did this movie come out just this year? I feel like it’s been in my life for a decade, in a good way. This was my most anticipated movie of 2024, and it still somehow exceeded my expectations.

Like, yeah, it’s the Horny Tennis Movie, the Threesome Movie, and the Zendaya Movie. But it’s also just so original and interestingly shot. Filled a gap for non-adaptation dramedies with an actual point of view.

Impeccable score also:

Challengers also led to some truly enjoyable discourse, which is great considering most film discourse now is dogshit. One of my favorite Letterboxd reviews puts it particularly well:

Sugarplumita

She needs no introduction:

Sugarplumita (originally named Goblin #4) is one of a kind from Lyric Stitches. Travis correctly treats her like she is our child.

She fits in the palm of your hand and has the most pleasant face and general demeanor.

I love her.

Honorable mentions

• The 3M Aura—Since we’re deeper than ever into our “community care is a personal problem” era, I’ve sometimes needed more powerful masks. In my 3M Aura, I sat for 15 hours within arm’s length of a person who appeared to be down bad with flu, COVID, the suds, or some combination thereof, and I did not get sick. The 3M Aura did not make the list because it is not technically new to me this year, it just got a lot more airtime.

• The House of the Red Balconies—The new book from A.J. Demas, author of the perfect and genre-defying Sword Dance series, was extremely good. An alt-Classical setting, interesting protags, romance, mystery, and unbeatable atmosphere.

• Babygirl—Tied with Challengers for my favorite movie of the year. Surprisingly sweet and brilliantly edited. But I only saw Babygirl last week, so it hasn’t had as much time to “keep me from absolutely losing it” as the assignment stipulates.

let us move toward the white dot in 2025

1. This is sadly the correct punctuation

2. I should note I do not have Celiac. If I did, it would have been horrible. This place should probably get a sign.