Red carpet looks and which trinket I would make each celebrity carry on their person

I am tchotchke atelier to the stars

Object accessorizing is here to stay! People are finally embracing the power of having a point of visual and tactile interest beyond clothes, bags, and jewelry. As a stylist, if you’re not providing fun little props to your A-list clients, they’ll soon fire you for someone who will.

To help get you started in this rich domain, here are some looks from this year’s awards season and the archival trinkets I’d incorporate into each.

Lupita Nyong’o: Antique sleigh

This one’s straightforward. It’s a slay, your honor. The colors go nicely too though.

She could balance this on her sternum or let it zoom down her impeccably toned arms.

Jennifer Lopez: Lavender boombox

This monochrome Barbie boombox from the ‘80s creates an unapologetically femme color palette with her dress. Its rigid lines are also a nice complement to the flowery flow of it all.

This would work best carried in JLo’s free hand but could also serve as a tongue-in-cheek handbag replacement.

Bella Ramsey: Restoration Hardware level keychain

Look, in pursuit of true equality, we do need to allow some absolutely rizz-less nonbinary red carpet looks from time to time. But not here. Bella deserves more.

This 1999 Restoration Hardware level would transform Bella from Martian military to eccentric aristocrat cosplaying as a mail clerk. Simply pin it to the point of their jacket pocket flap.

Barry Keoghan: Parisian cat

For our favorite murder lesbian, a friend. Some interesting texture, a beret to match those baby blues, and a relatively slim profile for easy stowing and reveal. Barry could hook this cat through his circle brooch, glue him to the flat charm on his pearl wallet chain, or simply tuck him into a front pocket with the tail peeking out.

Interviewer: What’ve you got there, Barry?

Barry: Ah, this? It’s me cat.

Cillian Murphy: iPod Shuffle lanyard case filled with the things you find in the caps of gel pens

He just looks like he wants to swing something around on a string. This calls for a trinket with movement and swagger but which is also decidedly uncool. The shapes complement his pin, too.

Hailee Steinfeld: The Fuzzy Lord

This dress slaps but forgets to account for the fact that Hailee Steinfeld is a little weirdo. The Fuzzy Lord remembers. We could nestle him among the fabric connecting her neck to her wrists.

Aubrey Plaza: Glow-in-the-dark polymer clay alien

This pairing is not a color scheme thing. It’s a search for meaning. This is the only way we could have saved the sewin’-on-a-pat-of-butter dress.

Heat the needle up real good. Pierce this little alien through the chest. Let the needle cool and affix to the dress as normal. Then, when people saw it, they’d be like, “Oh, OK, this dress was made to kill that alien.” It would all make so much more sense.

It would also offer a fun surprise once the lights went out.

Dua Lipa: Stiff rat and little trumpet

She gets 2 because dua.

Her playful necklace is already on the right track. We just have to take it all the way. Here the rat’s arms play off of her apparent love of harsh horizontal lines while adding some jelly shoe-esque whimsy. Extend the instrument aesthetic as well—who doesn’t love a little rat going doot-doodoot?

This combo would work best cradled in her palm, but a small carabiner on the necklace could work too, as long as it’s not mistaken for a run-of-the-mill necklace charm.

Janelle James: 1 leopard Shoezie

Was it ever a question?

To be worn as shown or with the heel tucked into the top of the sleeve.

Emily Blunt: Juice bar!

She is the only one who can fit something of this height in the space between her shoulder and the top of her dress. Florence Pugh did a similar al dente spaghetti strap moment, but the height just doesn’t compare to Emily’s.

Also adds a fun twist to this dress’s suggestion of a nuclear desert.

Jeremy Allen White: Porcelain deer

Jeremy motions you over from across the room. “You wanna see something?” he says. He looks around, and then at you, and opens his cupped palm. It’s this deer.

Greta Lee: Sandcastle

The point of this dress was to show off Greta’s incredible control of her back and posture. She could handle keeping this sandcastle balanced above her tailbone all night.

The barely-there lilac and rough grain of the castle also perfectly complement the silk here.

Miley Cyrus: Kelly doll baby food

It just feels right.

Colman Domingo: Steak dinner

Colman deserves nothing less than this tiny platter from Sanrio’s 2001 “Mushroom Restaurant” playset. I’m actually not sure this is steak, but it has a refined and confident vibe nonetheless.

This would be best sandwiched between his first two fingers, like a cigarette. Could also be a brooch, though that gets distressingly close to normal jewelry.

Dominic Sessa: Hippo hair tie

He’s so babygirl.

Note: This qualifies as a trinket and not jewelry due to its utility and thus the potential for a cute little top knot. He could also snap the band really hard to fling this across the auditorium.

Da’Vine Joy Randolph: Translucent recorder that looks like a cell phone

Needed to end with what also happens to be the best look of any 2024 red carpet. She is delivering Baby Spice realness and elevating it to new heights. Baby Spice actually could never. It’s only right to honor the Y2K glamour with an equally cheeky yet elegant mini phone to dangle from a pinky.

She could have also used it to record her very good acceptance speech.